September 21, 2009

Continued Prayer

And so I continue to pray for lost loved ones...some in particular...some just because.

Our Lord has answered our prayers in so many ways! I see things changing...I see progress, although it feels very slow to me, it is happening...It is not easy...the many personalities,,,hurts and dysfunctions of this world make it seemingly impossible sometimes for change...but I am steadfast...I have seen change in myself as well. Great change and for this I am eternally grateful.

“May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” ~~ 2 Corinthians 13:14

Posted by tracey at 10:32 AM | Comments (0)

March 20, 2009

Sharing the Word...

I'm not the best at witnessing. Not very good at all. I think I worry too much about being ridiculed by others who don't share the faith that I do. I tend to shy away...I guess to protect myself from what, I'm not sure. Scorn I guess cuz discussing God can get pretty emotional.

Today, however, I had a unique opportunity to discuss Him with several people on the internet, Facebook to be exact! It was AWESOME to share my faith and scripture and have people welcome it and ask questions and share their thoughts as well. I prayed I would find the right words and I think I did!

How AWESOME is His Grace! And the funny part is this all started over a note someone posted regarding the failing economy and AIG bonuses! But...it gave me the perfect opportunity to talk about the Bible and scripture and end times. I had never realized that people know about and have researched things regarding our government and the "NEW WORLD ORDER" but do not associate it with scripture, but they are afraid...as they should be!

Wow, I just feel great being able to share with others and I pray I can continue to find the words and opportunities to share His word esp in these very difficult times. How AWESOME it would be to bring others to Him, people I NEVER thought would have come!

Posted by tracey at 07:42 PM | Comments (0)

December 29, 2008

Through His Grace

So, I made it through the holidays. PHEW!!!! I really thought it was going to be MUCH more painful, but once again He has seen me through and it actually wasn't that painful at all. Hardly. Just a little tense at times, for me more than anyone I think, but it all worked out and there were no harsh words or uncomfortable moments.

I managed to get gifts out to everyone in my family that I usually do and they all arrived on time. I tried not to go overboard this year with Christmas and I think I did better than in years past. Bought things that people could really use or enjoy without spending a fortune. (that is something I grew up with so trying very hard to not continue this)

November did not turn out to be a very good month for either hubby or myself. First his Mom went in for surgery to try and correct her vocal cords from a previous surgery back last March to remove a large tumor around her throat. Well, the surgery went well, but three days later she ended up in the ICU and on a ventilator and had suffered a mild heart attack as well. We received a phone call very early Sunday morning on the 23rd from his sister saying the hospital had just called her to tell her she was there in ICU. So we headed right down and it was not a pretty picture and Andy was quite upset about it all.
She ended out there for two weeks before returning home with his sister for another two weeks of recooperating.

Then, on the 29th of November, my father was injured again in the woods and broke his pelvis while riding the black horse out of the woods. She slipped on some ice and went down and he couldn't stop the impact in anyway and sustained a broken pelvis, back and front. Thankfully some hunters found him before dark and helped him out of the woods while still on the horse!

When my mother called to tell me, it didn't sound too serious and he INSISTED on going to the VA hospital, which for him, is over a 100 miles one way! In the meantime, I hadn't thought he sounded very good so decided to drive out to see how he was and it turned out to be an AWFUL scene! I never saw anyone is SO much pain as he was. He nearly passed out at one point. After much standing around debating on what to do and listening to him bellar in pain I told Dev to call 911 and wouldn't you know the nearest ambulance was 45 minutes away!

But...he made it to the local hospital where they confirmed a broken pelvis and said he needed to be transported to an out of state hospital for surgery. Well, that went over like a lead balloon as my father is DEAD set against any type of technology and surgery was NOT going to be an option for him, EVER! After doping him up with some pain medicine he had my youngest brother and a friend of his drive him to the VA whereupon they shipped him across the river to the hospital he needed to go to in the first place! So he was there for several days arguing about not wanting surgery and finally they sent him home where he continues to heal quite well and is getting around with his walker.

My oldest brother Frank came home from FL to help out with everything and on Christmas morning the rest of my father's barn came down as well! (It had been caving in for years.)

But, because of HIS grace in all of these things, everyone has come out of them fine, a bit scarred maybe, but ok, healthy and intact.

And...I survived the holidays with my family and even remained calm through a conversation with my inebriated sister a couple days before Christmas. Hadn't dealt with one of those phone calls for some time, but...again, through Him, I have learned to accept the things I cannot change and continue to pray, always.

Christmas Eve for sure was a BLESSING as my brother Frank came to church with us again and Devon went. She has been holding out on me where church is concerned, her way of battling with my will for her, but she came without any comment or frustration on my part.

And that was my GREATEST Christmas gift this year!

~: But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. :~

Hebrews 11:6

Posted by tracey at 09:25 AM | Comments (0)

November 17, 2008

He IS working in my life...

I feel like I have grown a lot during these past few months, spiritually and in His love. My emotions have gotten the better of me over the past several months. I became very frustrated with a family situation and stated my peace and in the end, came out being the bad guy. I'm not sure why that happens, but it does and then to make things even worse, old wounds were reopened where my mother and mine relationship is concerned. Our relationship has always been somewhat tumultuous, but I'd say with confidence, that over the past 10 years it has been pretty stable. I love my mother and I look up to her despite the combat from growing up. I say combat because it was rough for both of us much of the time.

My mother is EXTREMELY emotional so much so that her emotions often get the better of her as well. She is not articulate when trying to express herself so for her it's yelling, screaming and making you feel like a piece of dirt by saying some really cruel things. I don't know what this produces other than hurt feelings and then guilt on her part, but it's the way she is, always has been.

We've had some dewsies over the years, but after I had my oldest daughter and got out on my own and went to college and began a life for myself, things seemed to settle down for us. I have never missed a holiday at my Mom's with the exception of one Christmas & Thanksgiving when I lived in FL. Otherwise, I have always gone to her home, with my family, for the holidays. I take her shopping or at least invite her most of the time when I go, I've taken her on several big vacations with me, one being the BIGGEST of either of our lives. I mean, I've tried very hard to be good to her, I've let the past go, I don't drudge it up, but rather move on, but...when she has the chance to hurt me again, she will and that hurts, a LOT.

At any rate I felt it best this last time to just distance myself from her and see where things went and I prayed, a LOT! My Mom is not saved, has NO relationship with God and shows no interest. None of my family does except for my own children and I pray all the time they will continue this the rest of their lives!

But, God has heard me, he's seen me struggling with all these hurt feelings, guilt and anger and He's allowed for some healing and that I am SO grateful for!

~: For in him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, "For we are also HIS offspring." :~

acts 17:28

Posted by tracey at 08:27 AM | Comments (0)

September 28, 2008

A Powerful Message

I received a VERY powerful message from the word today at church. We had a speaker/pastor from Alabama visiting and he taught us on the way we should be raising our children despite the teachings/lessons we were taught by our own parents.

He started by saying how the Father of the family is held most accountable. I knew this, but listening to him today really shed a lot more light.

I, like the pastor today, was not raised in a christian home. Neither of my parents used the Bible or God in their training or teachings or discipline and I have followed suit, for the most part. He said how this will go on for generations and generations and it does. I have allowed myself to raise up wrath in my own children by my own anger with them and I have seen them, in turn, do the same with each other.

And as with my parenting I have also chosen these paths with the friends I have made in life, those not of the faith or belief in Jesus as our Lord and Saviour.

I feel and believe that in the past 10 years I have tried to change and pull on the armour of God and stand against the wiles of the devil. It has NOT been easy.

It is a constant stuggle for sure, but I believe and I continue to pray that I am making strides with this. I catch myself all the time, I stop and think, "This is not what God would want me to do or say." And I think for me it has been even harder, more of a stuggle, because my immediate family, as a whole, are not saved and so I find myself struggling with things they do and say to me and not wanting to overreact or say something foolish or selfish because they will be quick to persecute me because of my beliefs. And this has happened and continues to happen.

The pastor today said something to the affect that, "Stirring anger in your own children takes the wind out of their sails." This has happened to me just recently and I know I am guilty of it as well.

What gave me encouragement today though is that discipline is NOT comfortable, it is painful and when we discipline others we WILL be persecuted ourselves.

How true that is...

~: Children, obey your parents (in the Lord), for this is right.
"Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a promise,
"that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on earth."
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord. :~

~:Ephesians 6:1-4

AMEN!

Posted by tracey at 01:45 PM | Comments (0)