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November 27, 2005
Teenagers
So, does anyone have any good advice on raising teenage girls??? Cuz I really need some right about now! OMG, I'm really at the end of my rope with my 13 year old and that is the sad part folks, she is only 13!! What am I going to do when she's 16????
My biggest problem right now is her disrespect for me and her father. In many ways, she's a good kid. She's well behaved for others, especially my mother for instance. Actually, my mother walks on water as far as she's concerned. I, on the other hand, am the scum of the earth! And I mean that. She won't listen to me, she does as she damn pleases and the more she can upset me, the better she feels about herself.
I guess it's the whole respect issue cuz I just don't like how she has NO, and I mean NO respect for me or her father. It's not that she yells and swears at us and tells us to go H*ll or anything like that, but take today for instance. She had a friend over last night and this girl seems to be a nice girl. I asked them this am if they were coming to church. Her friend doesn't go to church, but I heard her say to Devon, "It wasn't on my agenda, but if you want to go I'll go." Now, usually Devon goes to church with me on my weekends off unless she is out to her grandmother's. She usually never gives me any trouble, she likes to go as does her 4 year old sister. But today, oh no, she was going to stay home. So, this meant her 4 year old sister didn't want to go either. Started giving me a lot of trouble, wouldn't get dressed etc. Then, Devon has the nerve to ask me for money to go to the movies this afternoon. (She had $50 on Friday, but decided to spend it all in one whack at the dollar store) I'm like, "I don't think so young lady!" Oh, I was so mad I stormed out of the house and went to church and then spent the afternoon with a good friend. I didn't come home until almost four hours after church was over!
It doesn't seem to phase her though. She still acts like she's the queen and too bad I don't like it kind of attitude.
Now, my friend told me I should tell her I expect her to go to church on the Sundays I go (I work every other Sunday)and if she has a friend over they are expected to go as well. They don't have to participate or even believe in the things they talk about, but she will go. And just make that the rule. (The other difficult thing for me too is that my husband is not a church goer and whenever we discuss it, he says he's not going.)
I also told my husband I'm all done trying to discipline her, it's up to him and I told him some things she is no longer allowed to do for a while, like visiting my mother and having friends over. But...he's not very good at this stuff, but I told him I would stay out of it and let him deal with her for a while.
It's the attitude that is driving me crazy!!! She just doesn't care how much she upsets me or how bad she makes me feel. I bend over backwards for this kid and my father told me once a LONG time ago, I'd be sorry for all I do for her and I think he was right!
It's just I wanted her to have things and do things I never got to do as a kid. I wanted, as they say, a better life for her. Not that mine was God awful cuz it wasn't, but you know what I am sayin'???
So, I don't know, I have said very little to her tonight, I'm not ignoring her, but I only talk to her if I have to kind of thing, but she smirks and acts all big and smart like and I literally just want to smack her! I mean, I don't remember being like this at her age. (Although I did have a bad time with my own mother growing up and I so wanted to not re-experience that with my own.) Everyone says, "Pick your battles." Well, I don't really know if these are battles or not or if it's just her attitude in general I can't seem tolerate.
The other thing that drives me crazy is she will NOT listen to me. No way! She'll listen to my mother or my friend Kim or anyone else for that matter, but me, forget it! I think she deliberatley does not listen to me just to get me going. To me that is having NO respect for your mother and I honestly don't know what I have done to deserve this kind of behavior/treatment from her!
UGH! Just had to get that off my chest...
Posted by tracey at November 27, 2005 08:16 PM