« Teenagers | Main | Jesus Take the Wheel »
December 01, 2005
Melt Down # 2
So, we had another melt down tonight, well teenage daughter did that is. All over not being able to go into the store with me after leaving the rec center. I was buying a bottle of water and the newspaper and she was going to have to climb over her little sister to get out of the truck and her father told her just to stay in the car. Well, I come back out of the store and she's in the back seat, crying and carrying on and saying how she is going to run away and she hates her house and on and on and on!
We get home and she takes her phone and her TV and sets it outside her room, cuz her father told her she was going to lose her phone if she didn't stop her foolishness.
Now, I give up and I've asked God to grant me serenity here cuz I tend to lose my cool with her when she pulls this crap. So tonight I was very calm, cool and collected and went to her room, asked if I could come in and tried to talk to her. She says she hates, "him." (Meaning her father.) Andy is her adopted father, he's been in her life since she was 4 almost 5. What I don't understand is that when she was little, when Andy and I first got together, they got along really well. Went fishing, snowmobiling and things like that. Now that she is older, she hates him! She thinks he picks on her all the time, what it is, I think anyhow, is that he isn't allowed to say anything to her and shouldn't be allowed to tell her to do things, like feed the dog and get the mail. Big chores for a 13 year old. I told her she should count herself as lucky she didn't grow up on a farm like I did having to milk cows every night after school and rake hay by hand and sit on a horse hours on end watching cattle graze. (But maybe I shouldn't have compared my upbringing to hers!) I don't know, I just don't understand why she feels this way about her father. I will admit that they aren't very close. It's like since she started growing up they've moved apart. Now, Hannah and Andy are very close, but Andy is Hannah's biological father so naturally there would be that bondness, is that a word? I don't know, but you get my drift. Andy is not a talker, he tends to stay to himself, but he's been good to Devon in many ways. (Devon's real father btw, has never acknowledged her and I think that might be at the core of this whole thing.)
I asked her if she wanted to talk to someone other than me, she yelled and said she wasn't psycho like I thought she was. Ok, I didn't say she was psycho, but whatever. Raging hormones maybe or something. I mean I think that is part of it.
So, I asked her, I said why is it ok for you to mistreat me, not listen to me, getting mouthy, bossy, defiant etc, but your father asks you to do something or says something a little sarcastic and he's just the worst thing that has ever walked?
She couldn't answer me and when I told her I wanted an answer she said she didn't know!
I don't know what her problem is, I wish I did, but I'm taking this one to God because I need the patience of a saint to get through this. Andy just clams up when I talk to him about it. He says he doesn't know what to say or do with her. He tries to be fair and he only gets on her case when he knows she's not listening to me or doing the few things we ask her to do around the house.
Putting her own phone and TV outside of her room, is that defiance or is it me????????
So much for these peaceful thoughts! UGH!!!!
Posted by tracey at December 1, 2005 10:15 PM