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July 19, 2008
A glimmer of Grace
Seeing others through Grace, that hurt us and disappoint us is not an easy thing to do. It's actually quite difficult at times.
How do you find Grace in someone or something, that has caused you heartache and despair. Someone who constantly feels resentment towards you no matter how good you have tried to be towards them.
I'm pretty content with the person I have become. At nearly 40 years of age I feel I have made some pretty good strides so far, made LOTS of mistakes too, but have tried to learn from these mistakes and move on. Sometimes though, it is hard for me to move on or let things go because sometimes it's just always the same stuff I'm trying to let go of or move away from. I think I have let a lot go, more than I use too, I try and overlook the little annoyances and keep my eyes set on the good. It's not worth getting upset over every little thing in life right?
I'm NOT perfect, far from it. I do have my opinions, my beliefs, but I don't think I try to shove that down anyone else's throat or at least I'm pretty sure I don't. I'm a hard worker, always have been. What I have I have earned on my own and with no handouts. I don't expect them. I wasn't raised that way. I mind my own business and allow that to others so long as their business isn't causing me distress in some way, directly or indirectly. I go to work everyday, raise my kids and have tried to teach and instill in them the most important virtues in life which I believe are honesty, respectfulness, modesty, purity, justice, generosity, perseverance, loyality and patience. (That last one I struggle with ALL the time!)
I raised my oldest daughter on my own for the first 8 years of her life. I worked full time as a licensed practical nurse and we lived three years in the same apartment and during this time I traveled every other weekend to a University 90 miles each way, to study towards my RN degree. Being a single parent was tough financially and I wanted things for my daughter that I couldn't always afford, sometimes I would charge these things and that was a mistake! But...those bills too, did eventually get paid.
I met my husband in 1997, moved in with him in 1998 and we married in 1999. We have lived in the same home ever since. Another daughter came into our lives in 2001 and completed our family. I graduated with my associates degree in nursing the year we married and have continued to work full time and provide for my family their basic needs and for others in my life things they need and things I have wanted to do for them.
I don't ask alot of anyone except kindness and respect and this I especially ask of my children and I don't think that is asking too much?
I don't expect privileges and indulgences, and I certainly don't feel entitled to exploit other people without any trace of reciprocation. I really try to just go about my own life without causing a lot of grief for others. I don't believe I display any nasty behaviors that would be considered emotionaly stressful to others. I am not entitled to anything in this life, but a little common decency and respect.
I try and remember everyone near to me during difficult and good times, holidays and just visiting because I want to visit and not because I need or want something in return.
I've been told it's better to look for the good in others even if it's buried deep. I've been told we will see the Grace in others if we look hard enough. Sometimes there is only a glimmer that is quickly extinguished! But it is still there, somewhere.
So I try to do this. I look for this in everyone even when I have reached the end of my rope with some. Life is short. I have seen the end in many during my 20 years of nursing. To go out of this world without respect, without grace, without dignity is very sad and I pray for those who persecute me now, from my past and those to come. For Grace is the dignity we harbor in ourselves of who we truly are and can become.
So, I feel very strongly it is not wise to be envious of what others have in life and then become vehemently critical of them when you have just tried to give some positive criticism in hopes that they too will search deep within themselves for that glimmer of Grace... and somewhere...find it.
Posted by tracey at July 19, 2008 08:40 PM