"Go Gently into That Good Night"

~~: I know it is coming, and I do not fear it, because I believe there is nothing on the other side of death to fear. I hope to be spared as much pain as possible on the approach path. I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as the same state. What I am grateful for is the gift of intelligence, and for life, love, wonder, and laughter. You can't say it wasn't interesting. My lifetime's memories are what I have brought home from the trip. I will require them for eternity no more than that little souvenir of the Eiffel Tower I brought home from Paris. :~~

I especially like the last three lines...how true.

My own personal hope had been for her to go off to college and she went through all the steps of applying etc and was accepted to three different schools, but in the end she decided that wasn't what she really wanted to do. College is costly, but she could have taken loans, she had some grant money, but in the end she decided against it.

I saw her off this past Monday. She boarded a big ole' plane for the south and we said a tearful goodbye. I now look back on the past 18 years and all I can say is, "Where has the time gone?? Where or where?" It just doesn't seem possible! Wasn't it just yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital? Wasn't it just last week I dressed her up for her first day of kindergarten??

I wish her all the best. She's a good kid, smart and savvy and she knows what she wants, I pray though, she can find the right path in this crazy world. Make good decisions and have a keen sense of discernment. She's in a bigger place now, more to worry about, more people, more decisions...

Life happens so fast and I hope she finds her faith and a good place in this life to fully blossom.

Summer is winding down and it's been a good one. Great weather, gardens have done well, but we've been pretty lazy about the weeding. Andy did some tonight and I need to get out there this week too.

Went camping, real camping, at Lake Francis last weekend and we had a great time. Weather was good except for a minor thunder storm that Sat night that made me quite uneasy, but it passed without event, thank goodness! Hannah really enjoyed it too and the lake was great, watched an eagle soar with a hawk and that was pretty awesome to watch!

Work this weekend and then we are off to Crawford Notch for a weekend of camping with Bob, Dodie and Molly and do some school shopping.

Devon has decided not to go to Maine in August and has instead bought a ticket to FL to stay with Heather. Not sure that will last long, but it will be good for her to get away and test the waters semi on her own for a bit. I am in hopes that she will do some thorough soul searching and think about coming back to go to college like she had planned! She's not ready I guess, but I'm not so sure that's all of it.

Andy's family were all up this past week, Bill, Anita and Pete and his family. Hannah has been out to the campground since last night and is spending another night tonight. She's had a pretty good summer too. Has been to summer school, camp and camping with us and then we plan to to go to one of the fairs this year too.

Andy is having more dental work done, finally getting some better teeth! Needs to do it, what he has left is about gone!

Well, more later...

Already July 4th weekend too and the temps have been a bit chilly this past week. Wearing a light sweater in July is unheard of for me. The weatherman, however, is predicting some hot and humid stuff this week coming, can't wait.

Parade tomorrow and Hannah is going to be on the church float and she's pretty excited about that, hope I can get out of bed tomorrow to go see it too.

Summer is here!!

The day before Andy's truck started acting up quite badly, not running right etc...what's new, but anyhow, he was on his way to drop that off when I called him to tell him about the house. He missed a whole day of work, waiting for the lovely light co. to show up, they never did and didn't bother the next day either!

So, it's been an interesting last week or so. Andy did find a used car we can pay cash for, no payments, no increase in insurance premiums...thank the Lord for that! Now let's just hope it holds together for a few years! He hopes to fix his truck, but for the time being he'll take it off the road.

We had a FABULOUS vacation in April. Drove to Daytona Beach FL and spent a week with Heather and a couple nights on the ocean and went to Orlando for two nights as well with the kiddos. Visited Disney and the Nick Hotel. Was not impressed with the Nick at all, but the kids enjoyed it. I loved the beach as always and want to go back!! We had perfect weather and just a really good -- uneventful time with the car and the drive down and back. Visited Washington again on the way down and Monticello. Drove part way over the Shenandoah Mtn parkway, BEAUTIFUL! And also visited Charleston SC. Great time!

Now it's planting and cleaning up time with all the gardens and the yard. Andy has strawberries and onions planted already.

Devon's highschool graduation is coming right up,,,where or where has the time gone?

Here's hoping our spring stays...no more snow storms and that we have a decent summer and fall too!

Also went to Jay Peak a couple of weeks ago and checked out their craft show and had lunch. Had wanted to go up on the tram, but it was too overcast and chilly! Not snowing, but raining buckets! Got some gifts for Christmas though.

This past Saturday Val and I spent the day in Burlington at the craft fair, had lunch at Olive Garden, ran into Dwight...and then hit Costco's where the door check out guy went on and on about out of staters and I it made my whole week!

Went to church yesterday and then met up with David Ellis and went bowling down in Newport where upon I fell,,,ass over tea kettle and hurt my hand bad! Ended up getting it checked at the ER last night. No fractures, but a bad sprain. It feels better with the ace on it. Then...little Hannah...from next door,,,killed Hannah's guinea pig! She apparantly was picking him up and dropping him and my Hannah caught her doing this and we think he broke his neck. She admitted to doing it...I sent her home and called her mother. That kid has bothered me since last year when I drove her and Carolyn to Awana. Always screaming and beating on our Hannah. Something wrong with that...we'll see how it all goes, but I'm sure her parents are making pretty lightly of it...we are just old country bumpkins anyway...as far as they are concerned.

Sheesh!

Otherwise all is good and waiting for the snows to come!

We enjoyed a nice weekend in CT/MA the 25th and 26th of September. The girls and I drove down with Mom and went shopping in Holyoke and then went to Phyllis and Ed's and had dinner with them and visited a while. The next day we all went to the Big E. Saw Susan for a few minutes too as she met us in Agawam to take us in a back way to avoid some of the traffic. Had a nice time...it's a big fair, but didn't have too many crafts I thought...but I could have missed some!

We enjoyed fair food and Hannah went on quite a few rides too. We left around 4:30 after having been there since 10 am and headed home and Andy let me stop off at Walmart in Woodsville too to get some groceries before heading home.

Work is crazy as ever. We did get one nurse back that left, Marlene, but we are still short. Thank goodness we haven't had too many admissions though, none actually.

I'm on this weekend and hopefully won't have to work doubles! Should be an ok weekend.

Plan to check out Jay Peak's annual arts and craft fair next weekend for our anniversary...10 years!!

Hannah had a friend over for a couple of hours, Emily who lives just down the road, and they helped me make homemade carrot cake and cupcakes. Delicious!

Tonight we all watched the movie Abraham, and it was long, but very good and Andy actually enjoyed it too!

Dodie's Dad died this past Thurs. I have not called her and need to do that. She texted tonight to let us know about the calling hours and funeral. I'm hoping to make the calling hours on Tuesday.

Otherwise, this wonderful weather is holding out! It was a bit overcast today, but no rain...September is turning out to be the BEST month so far!

School is in full swing and all is going good so far. Devon is busy with her two part time jobs plus picking up babysitting jobs here and there. She has just English to pass this year and her Early Childhood class so shouldn't be any problems there.

We had a great supper tonight of ribs and potato salad and fresh cabbage and carrots from the garden! I'm in the mood now to bake and have been looking up several different apple recipes and want to try the crab apple jelly again too.

I'm off tomorrow so plan to do some house cleaning and cooking.

I'm in hopes that this weather holds out! It's wonderful...

oh...and we sold the sleds...money in the bank for a boat,,,maybe!

Hannah and I visited Andy's mother yesterday and then went out to see my parents this afternoon. Now I'm baking a loaf of homemade banana bread...what a great day to bake! The house smells good.

Andy cleaned out the garage and pulled the sleds out and cleaned them up so I could take some pictures. I'm hoping we can sell them and put the money away for a pontoon boat for next year!

Val Chase and her husband may come for a visit sometime next month so it will be nice to see them. Otherwise just a very peaceful, lazy Saturday!

July was very wet and soggy, lots of rain and not very summer like at all. August was warmer and WAY more humid and it's rained some, but not so much as July.

Devon had her 17th birthday on the 21st and she spent the morning having her senior pictures done and then chose to spend the evening and night at her Uncle's camper in Charleston. Andy and I had wanted to take her out for supper and have cake and ice cream, but...

Her pictures came out nice and now it's time to order the ones I want. She has her parking permit for school and we met with the principal on Monday and hopefully her schedule will get straightened around and she can go to school just in the morning and then she has also signed up for a class at CCV this fall. So...she's moving onward and upward and I'm quite confident she has a pretty good head on her shoulders, surprising since I'm told I'm such a stupid >>>> >>>> by a certain somebody...very stupid actually...but I've done the best I can and I can only hope she will always be healthy, happy, content and faithful to our Lord.

Hannah has had a VERY busy summer despite my concerns she wouldn't since she couldn't go to the summer day camp through Newport this year. She ended up being able to stay home the days I worked and did things with Devon. Went to the beach ALOT and spent quite a bit of time out to Charbo with Debbie and Shayla. Last week she actualy spent two more nights out to Norton Pond with Lori's grandchildren too. She's been on walks, bike rides, swimming, Coutts camp for a week as did Devon and then our trip to Maine and Norton and then in late September we plan to go to the Big E down in Springfield MA. We are skipping Essex Fair this year in exchange for Springfield, something different, but I do plan to still go to the annual craft fair in Essex in October. LOVE that place! Val and I always have a good time.

It's amazing how I come to life with this weather change and how the hot summer humidity just totally zaps me, not to mention I had some weird flu bug last week that lasted about 5 days or more. Severe body aches and diarrhea and nausea and one night a TON of gas! Wholly smoke bandit!

Weekends at work just get better and better. I had a melt down last Sat and called the big cheese and told her she HAD to come in and help me. She did, but she's still being a piss ant about it all. We are now down to agency nurses and candidates from third world countries who want to stay here in the US. I don't get it,,,I guess it's called integrity and the major LACK of it in society as a whole these days. I'm praying for divine intervention at this point because I see no change forthcoming...it's put up and shut up and I want to maintain until my 10 year plan can unfold.

Well,,,guess that is all for now. Loving the cool breeze this evening coming from the porch windows into the livingroom. All for now.

I hung out a load of clothes today only to have it start raining about 15 minutes later. Then the sun came back out, rained again and on this went for most of the mid to late morning until finally this afternoon it stayed out with a nice breeze and so...they finally dried.

I stayed home today as I ended up having to work a double shift yesterday and was none too pleased about it. The place is just crazy and I wish I could find a job less demanding, but it's probably not in the cards, not around here anyway.

Lately I've been sick of Derby VT and I'm not too sure why. I want something different and that is something I NEVER thought I would feel. I've always loved it here, but the winters are long and this summer has been nothing but rain and rain and more rain and now it's hot and humid and still rains! I'm sick of my job...not the folks I take care of, but all the politics and crap you have to put up with and the fact that those that make all the rules have NOT a clue what it's like to make the butter that sweetens THEIR bread. They are lazy, unrealistic and most of all GREEDY. Where is Robin Hood when you need him??

I'm looking into traveling nursing jobs, not that we are planning to head out any time soon, but I do have my 10 year plan in the back of my head. When Hannah has graduated highschool I want to sell this house and get out of Dodge! Live somewhere nice and warm for the winter and then come back for the summers. I figure we'll have to work til we die or can't function anymore so why not enjoy ourselves til the very end. 0wning a home is getting to be such a PIA, insurance co. is giving us a hard time again about the woodstove. I said to Andy, "see why I wanna live in a camper!" Jerks, but nothing you can do about it...

Hannah has had a pretty fun summer so far. She has spent several weekends out to Char Bo with Debbie and Glenn and plays with his daughter Shayla. They go swimming and keep each other occupied. She really looks forward to their visits. Then the week before Maine she went to Dodi's and stayed for the Bible School and played with Molly. She was a little homesick on that trip though, first time she ever went away like that without Mom, Dad or Devon. By the end of the week she was just fine though!

This coming weekend she will go to CT again with my mother and then when she gets home it's off to Coutt's for a week and Devon will be there as well as a counselor this year again.

She's very busy with work and just took on a part time job as well. Spending the day on Sunday's with an elderly lady from Orleans. $10 an hour to help her out a little, cook, light housekeeping and basically just being her companion. I hope it works out for her as the extra money will come in handy. She's also looked into college courses this fall through CCV and I hope that goes well too! I'm glad she is at least looking into something for her future as I can NOT believe she will be a senior this fall!

Andy I are off tomorrow and headed to Dartmouth to see if we can't get a better handle on his sugar situation. His blood levels are just WAY too high! He is seeing an endocrinologist (?sp) cuz his regular doctor hasn't a clue, course, I think a lot of it has to do with his diet, but he can't seem to change his ways. He has stayed smoke free for two years though that so is a MAJOR blessing!

Well, I'm off to read a good book...hoping tomorrow is cooler, but sunny!

Last Thursday evening right after dinner we had a TERRIBLE thunderstorm. The lightening was INSIDE the house sizzling at outlets and shooting sparks! I was glad Andy was home to witness it as he might not have believed me otherwise! It was awful and he finally just turned all the power off so it would stop. The thunder and lightening was right over head -- on top of the house! I thought for sure the house had been struck! I hope that doesn't happen again...

Hannah is out to Crystal Lake today with the Liz and the girls. She is pretty sunburned from Maine, as are we all...hoping it tans and doesn't peel for me anyhow!

I've certainly enjoyed these days off from work. I'm getting pretty frustrated with my current position. I feel like an unappreciated glorified babysitter of a bunch of whiney brats that do as they damn please! I'm really getting tired of it, but I'm stuck...so, I'll pray on it and try and continue to make the best of it til Andy and I can go forward with our plans after the girls are grown.

Otherwise, things are quiet. Enjoying these summer days, which today is actually a nice somewhat sunny day, but it looks like more rain in the forecast is coming! I'm hoping August turns out to be a bit better! We have our cabin rented for the second weekend out at Norton Pond. Let's hope the owner mows the lawn for us!

The weather stinks! The humidity has arrived and we've been running the A/C quite a bit. Every day it rains or gets to looking like it's going to rain, then it clears for a bit and then back to clouds. We've had a few thunder boomers pass through, but nothing too bad yet.

Hannah was sick with a stomach bug yesterday and spent the day on the couch and didn't go to the campground as planned. She did go today though and played with Shayla til around supper time.

Devon has been running the roads and decided to just not come home last night from work til I called looking for her at 3:30 this morning! She certainly knows how to push her luck with me that is for sure. Dear God give me the grace to endure with my sanity intact this next full year! She did manage to pull off a pretty good end of the year report card though, but it's the company she keeps that's getting her into these tight spots with Mama! She knows better, it's just a matter of how far she is going to push me...

There was a suicide this past week too. David Willis. His entire family is realing and understandable so. I ran into Sherrie at RJ's yesterday after work and she said Caitlyn is doing ok. Lots of troubling stuff in that family and now this...it's becoming such a sad sad world --- no it IS such a sad sad world...

I can't believe the 4th of July is nearly upon us. We plan to go to the parade and then up to the campground to spend some time with friends and maybe overnight in our new tent. I need to get that out tomorrow and sew it!

Otherwise the summer has started off not so bad. Our gardens our growing and the flowers look nice. Tomorrow after my car appt I need to weed the veggie garden some and plant the girl's sunflower seeds up there.

It's going to go by fast though...this summer time of ours!

I had yesterday off and this weekend and it's been very relaxing and lazy! Andy finished fixing up the porch and I've been puttering out there putting things away and throwing stuff out as well! Always so much clutter!! I've also tackled my upstairs desk, UGH!!! Too much junk up there to even begin, but I made somewhat of a dent in it all.

Devon had her four HUGE wisdom teeth out yesterday and she's been laying low all weekend. She has some big holes in her head and her mouth is quite sore, but they all came out fairly easy...well I guess they did anyway. Originally the doctor had thought it was going to be worse, but come to find out they had read the WRONG x-rays and he told me this after the surgery and said not to worry if the insurance didn't pay it all as it was their error and they would write off the amount not covered. So, good enough. Her teeth weren't as bad and I won't have to pay extra either way.

Tomorrow is father's day and the first day of summer and the longest day of the year! I'd like to go out on the motor boat, but it will depend on the weather. Andy and Hannah went fishing with it this afternoon and went all over the lake to Newport and Prouty Beach.

Last week a wretched little bat found his way into Devon's room in the middle of the night as her top window wasn't locked and she was in our room around 1 am screaming about it! Turned out he spent the night in her room with her and she kept the light on! The next night around dinner time she ventured back in there and saw him clinging to her ceiling just above her bed so Andy caught him in his fishing net and set him free. UGH UGH!!! That is like the 4th bat in this house in 11 years! Buggers!

Well, here's to a nice Father's Day to everyone and may the sun shine just a little! God Bless.