But, I am also very grateful to have that method of heating our home this winter as the winters here can be brutal and with the cost of oil these days, well...

Summer has winded down quite nicely actually. We spent a week out to camp and it rained and rained and rained some more, but hubby and I did get to enjoy an evening out on the lake in his old row boat and the kids did more camping and then spent the weekend at another campground in NH with family members. I would dare say those two are CAMPED right out this summer, but they sure did have a good time. These are the memories I wish for them to cherish, always!

Now I am planning a short get away with the oldest who is soon to be 16 in one short week! We want to go shopping out of town and then stay over night somewhere and relax and hopefull "enjoy" each others company!

The younger one will stay home and help out Dad with the continuing construction of our new garage. It's HUGE!

Otherwise, I guess autumn is nearly upon us with school soon to start again and another summer gone.

Elton John ROCKED, btw!!! We had an EXCELLENT time and I am SO glad I went. He gave a GREAT performance, one I will not soon forget. All his hits and more!

Our shed is coming along, finally...The framing is going up and hubby is hard at work this weekend working on the upstairs part where I will finally have some storage space! WOOHOO! It's been a LONG time coming! Our old shed was just that...old and sinking into the ground and caving in! We now have a nice cement slab and three bay entrances for our cars and other stuff plus a place to work on things. So I am very excited to get this done. Hubby has done most of it himself with some help from a few friends and neighbors.

Otherwise, things are ok. We head out to camp tomorrow afternoon for a week and hopefully the weather won't be too bad and I plan to loaf, enjoy the water, catch up on some reading and movies!

The tickets sort of came to me unexpectedly. I bought tickets earlier this year to see Toby Keith in August then I heard about Elton, but soon realized it would be quite difficult and expensive to get tickets to see him so I didn't even really give it much more thought.

My boss had actually bought tickets to Elton, but planned to sell them on ebay for oodles of money. She had also purchased two tickets for another co-worker who had planned to actually go to the concert then decided nearly last minute she didn't want to go and just wanted to sell them for what she had paid for them. I overheard this conversation and was like, "You have tickets?" And she did, pretty decent seats too so I called my friend Val and said, "Hey, you want to go see Elton John again?" and she said, "You mean SIR Elton John." and I was like, "Oh, yeah, sorry, SIR Elton John now." and she said, "SURE!"

So, were off. I must say I really enjoyed him last time in concert and I especially LOVE him at the piano! And my boss never sold hers on ebay so she will be there as well.

We'll also get some shopping time in as we will be in the big B where there are lots of stores and I don't get out much these days, esp with gas prices the way they are. So we'll do some shopping, have some dinner and then go to the concert which is expected, by the way, to draw over 10,000 people! For little old Vermont at some fairgrounds, that is quite a crowd!

The girls survived camping in tents for almost an entire week. They got home Saturday and poor Hannah is still trying to catch up on her sleep! They had a really good time and it was good for them and us.

Today, the oldest one takes her first driving lesson with her instructor. I've never seen a kid SO excited to get her license. I don't remember being that excited about it, but she is. She's gotten to this point in her life that she CANNOT wait to spread her wings and fly. She is certainly independent and wants to excude her independence. Part of me is ready for that and another part is not.

I think I've raised a pretty good kid, she's headstrong for sure, but I can only hope and pray she always uses her sense and whatever mistakes she makes she will learn from them. I see a lot of myself in her, most of that is good, I think?

How do you find Grace in someone or something, that has caused you heartache and despair. Someone who constantly feels resentment towards you no matter how good you have tried to be towards them.

I'm pretty content with the person I have become. At nearly 40 years of age I feel I have made some pretty good strides so far, made LOTS of mistakes too, but have tried to learn from these mistakes and move on. Sometimes though, it is hard for me to move on or let things go because sometimes it's just always the same stuff I'm trying to let go of or move away from. I think I have let a lot go, more than I use too, I try and overlook the little annoyances and keep my eyes set on the good. It's not worth getting upset over every little thing in life right?

I'm NOT perfect, far from it. I do have my opinions, my beliefs, but I don't think I try to shove that down anyone else's throat or at least I'm pretty sure I don't. I'm a hard worker, always have been. What I have I have earned on my own and with no handouts. I don't expect them. I wasn't raised that way. I mind my own business and allow that to others so long as their business isn't causing me distress in some way, directly or indirectly. I go to work everyday, raise my kids and have tried to teach and instill in them the most important virtues in life which I believe are honesty, respectfulness, modesty, purity, justice, generosity, perseverance, loyality and patience. (That last one I struggle with ALL the time!)

I raised my oldest daughter on my own for the first 8 years of her life. I worked full time as a licensed practical nurse and we lived three years in the same apartment and during this time I traveled every other weekend to a University 90 miles each way, to study towards my RN degree. Being a single parent was tough financially and I wanted things for my daughter that I couldn't always afford, sometimes I would charge these things and that was a mistake! But...those bills too, did eventually get paid.

I met my husband in 1997, moved in with him in 1998 and we married in 1999. We have lived in the same home ever since. Another daughter came into our lives in 2001 and completed our family. I graduated with my associates degree in nursing the year we married and have continued to work full time and provide for my family their basic needs and for others in my life things they need and things I have wanted to do for them.

I don't ask alot of anyone except kindness and respect and this I especially ask of my children and I don't think that is asking too much?

I don't expect privileges and indulgences, and I certainly don't feel entitled to exploit other people without any trace of reciprocation. I really try to just go about my own life without causing a lot of grief for others. I don't believe I display any nasty behaviors that would be considered emotionaly stressful to others. I am not entitled to anything in this life, but a little common decency and respect.

I try and remember everyone near to me during difficult and good times, holidays and just visiting because I want to visit and not because I need or want something in return.

I've been told it's better to look for the good in others even if it's buried deep. I've been told we will see the Grace in others if we look hard enough. Sometimes there is only a glimmer that is quickly extinguished! But it is still there, somewhere.

So I try to do this. I look for this in everyone even when I have reached the end of my rope with some. Life is short. I have seen the end in many during my 20 years of nursing. To go out of this world without respect, without grace, without dignity is very sad and I pray for those who persecute me now, from my past and those to come. For Grace is the dignity we harbor in ourselves of who we truly are and can become.

So, I feel very strongly it is not wise to be envious of what others have in life and then become vehemently critical of them when you have just tried to give some positive criticism in hopes that they too will search deep within themselves for that glimmer of Grace... and somewhere...find it.

Is God Sovereign Over THAT?

God has been reminding me that since He is Sovereign over all, then He is Sovereign over what family I was born in to. That might sound a little simple, but when you think of how easy it is to "go down the road" of reflecting on the past and holding on to those things that have been hard, it is easy to get into them mindset that there was some kind of mistake along the way! To look back over the years and remember those things that have been hurtful, or not handled correctly, can cause me to become tempted to give into bitterness and resentment.

There was a time that much of what I did as a parent was done with the attitude that I wanted things to be different for my children than they were for me. If I am not careful my focus can be on "how I'M going to do it 'differently' rather than "How does God want me to do it?"

God has been changing my perspective on this, and I am so grateful. I find that if I am focused on God, rather than what I perceive to be the "mistakes" that were made in my own childhood, I experience such peace! As I look back over the years I can learn so much. I can learn from the good and I can learn from the bad. I can be a better mom as a result of the good, and as a result of the bad. There are lessons from both. It is so encouraging to know that God uses both the good and the bad in our lives, and that they can both serve to make us better if we can see them as God sees them. Not only is it encouraging and freeing for me personally but it encourages me to know that my children will be able to look back on their lives and see the good and the bad, and that God will use it ALL for their good.

As easy as it might be for me to slip into "remembering" and use THAT as my standard for what I do, I am praying that God would constantly remind me that the only standard I have is His Word. If I seek His face and do things the way He tells me to do them, that will be enough.

"Thank you Father, that Your Word gives me everything I need for life and godliness, and that when I focus on YOU I can be confident that YOU will help me to be the best mom I can be! Thank you that YOU show me such mercy when I "mess up" as a mom. I pray that I would see my own parents through eyes of grace!"

I try to be as family oriented as possible, I love my family, I want only the best for them and this includes my extended family as well. I've always been at the hub of family. I have especially enjoyed geneaology and have spent hours on this research. I love get togethers and just time spent with one another.

I'm starting to wonder though, why I enjoy this so much? Maybe I shouldn't. I guess I need to back off, make some room and continue to pray for all my LOST loved ones, as there are MANY.

The Devil has a hold at this moment, think he always has actually. So prayer is in desperate need.

The summer, actually, is turning out to be ok despite the choppy start. The girls are off to camp next week with some very dear friends. They will attend their church's Vacation Bible School this year and then spend the rest of the time camping in tents at a campground. Should be a good time for them both and to be with fellow believers is a PLUS!

Our weather has been good, finally cooled off a little and that nasty humidity has let up for the moment.

Hubby and I plan to enjoy our "kidless" time next week and work on our new shed/garage and visit with his brother and wife and maybe have dinner out one night with them as well.

I can't believe it's getting to be that time again to start thinking about school starting and clothes and all that! Our summers just go by WAY TOO fast!

But I am blessed for all I have and all there is yet to be. Time will and can, only tell.

1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
2. Archaic. a man hired to do violence.

–verb (used with object) 6. to act the bully toward; intimidate; domineer.
–verb (used without object) 7. to be loudly arrogant and overbearing.

To treat in an overbearing or intimidating manner.
To make (one's way) aggressively.

noun
1. a cruel and brutal fellow

CRUDE:

–adjective
1. in a raw or unprepared state; unrefined
2. lacking in intellectual subtlety, perceptivity, etc.; rudimentary; undeveloped.
3. lacking finish, polish, or completeness
4. lacking culture, refinement, tact, etc.
5. undisguised; blunt
6. Obsolete. unripe; not mature.

All definitions of a person who is considered a bully and VERY crude. And this pretty much sums it up for me. I just wonder though, is this behavior inherited or learned? Or, maybe it's both...I'll have to do some further research.

Let's just say, having someone like this in your extended family is NOT a lot of fun.

He disappeared around the second week of May and we were sure he was never coming home. He's our big orange tiger cat and off he went one day and just never came back.

I had a dream last week that he had returned and I mentioned it to my mother and she said, "Must mean he's on his way home."

Then...exactly a week later I came across his vet record, I had it out to take him to the vet's for a check up before he went missing. I looked at it and thought, "I may as well put it away, I don't think he's coming home."

Well, low and behold, Hannah and I got up this morning and she went into the kitchen to let one of our other cats out, opened the door and in runs Rusty soaking wet from the rain!

He's very thin, but we are feeding him good and he won't leave your side! He's happy to be home!

It's been a trying week for sure. I've had a never ending headache and stuffiness, part from the pollen in the air and part from tears that seem to turn on as fast as they stop.

No, it's not the change of life, but it sure feels that way.

My mother always said, "Pay back is a bitch dear." and OMG, was she ever right!! But I'll be damned if I'm going to admit it!

Things take time I guess and I'm just hoping that this one will work it's self out, in time. I can only pray that it will and I've been doing a lot of that as well.

On a lighter note, Hannah and I enjoyed dinner out with Andy tonight for father's day. We went to a small out of the way little place and it was very good. Then we took the long way home just enjoying the warm and sunny evening.

I tried calling my father this afternoon to wish him a Happy Father's Day, but there was no answer.

Otherwise, it's peaceful tonight and I will enjoy my day off tomorrow to rest and maybe take another bike ride!

I don't blog often, sometimes more than others, but for the most part I just enjoy logging some of life's events or thoughts or occasions.

As of late, I've pondered my faith and what is going on in the world around us. It seems that no one, especially this younger generation, say 18 - 30, have no clue what kind of economic problems we are in and the hardships we are facing. They go about life spending on credit, buying things they don't need, driving beyond the speed limits and wasting fuel and I could go on, but basically, I just want to say, how grateful I am for what I have. My home, which isn't a mansion by any stretch, but it's ours and our mortgage is a livable one. We have land to grow a garden and can heat with wood or oil and fortunately my father still cuts firewood and gives a us a deal every year.

I love where I live, here in the green mountains of Vermont where crime isn't running rampant, people, for the most part, are still pretty decent to one another, you can count on your neighbor for a favor and vs/vs. We live near farms where many products are grown organically. We can pick strawberries or grow them yourself!

Recently someone in our community, an out of stater as we refer to them, complained about the smell of manure when it is spread in the spring in summer months. It was a bit entertaining to read her letter of woe and then even more entertaining to read the replies! Basically, she was told to put up or get out, but more importantly, someone, the one accused of the terrible smell, said he understood, it's not pleasant, but to remember it's people like them that work the land here to help feed the millions of people that populate this earth and I applaud him for that.

I'd much rather smell the manure then sticky foggy air pollution or live near a nuclear power plant.

It's a wonderful God given blessing to live in a place such as I do. I am grateful for my family and that my children are growing up here as well.

Maybe it's just the old farm girl in me myself, but whatever the reason, I just felt called to thank God for all I have here...

Where did spring go??? We are turning the furnace on again and starting little fires in the woodstove here and there and...it snowed over the mountain Monday night on our way to buy my wicker set!

Yes, finally I have my white wicker set for our back porch and it looks very nice if I do say so myself! I will certainly enjoy sitting out there in the early mornings and late afternoons. But... I will miss my Beethoven who use to always lay up under the big pine tree in our back yard. I had to have him put down this week. He was my big rotty/retriever mix dog that we had for eight years, but he had become quite aggressive over the past few years towards other dogs and had recently attacked one of our neighbor's dogs while their young daughter was walking her and it scared me enough to finally have him put down so no one, including ourselves or kids, would be hurt. It was a very hard thing to do, but for the best and I'll miss not seeing him out there everyday.

So, now we are without any dogs and I plan to keep it that way. We have had such a bad streak of luck with animals in the past year and half! I like dogs though so maybe someday the right one will come along and be with us for a long time.

I'm also worried about hubby tonight and his diabetes as of late. His sugars are WAY out of control and I know his diet is part of it, but not sure all of it. So, I've decided we all need to take a better approach to our eating habits and serving sizes and start our walking back up again and if this doesn't help I want him to call the doctor as I think he may need to start a sliding scale of insulin in addition to the long acting he is already on. Here's hoping the diet and excercise will help!

So, it's been a long week and I'm glad I have a long weekend ahead of me. I plan to finish Mom's quilt and have a HUGE yard sale to get rid of some junk and work more on my flower gardens!

I have come to find this once, daunting task, now to be very relaxing and soothing. I sit or kneel and pull and pull. The weeds actually come right out fairly easy as I've weeded and mulched in the past, but there are still quite a few to pull!

I counted last night and I have 8 flower beds! And I'm looking around the yard to see what else I want to do with it!

I also discovered gardening gloves this year!! I, of course, know they exist and have, I just never thought to buy me a pair! Saves your hands and nails a lot!!

So, I am really enjoying my gardens this spring, more so than in years past. Is it because I'm getting older and these types of things will now give me such pleasure, reserve and a great sense of peace?

It's raw outside and I had to go around and close up the house and turn the furnace on for a bit to take the chill away. It is only the end of April, but this past week sure did feel like July! So much for that.

I've been enjoying my little birds once again. Black and white finches and yellow chicadees. They come right to my window here at the computer and eat the seed and suet I have out for them.They are so sweet to watch and enjoy.

I did up some cooking today making a big pot of spaghetti sauce for dinner tomorrow, it's always better to let it set one day after it's cooked!

Off to the grind tomorrow and hoping we are all in better shape!

Dev LOVED the subway, don't ask me why??? She thought it was the COOLEST thing ever and had it figured out, how to use it, but the end of the first day!

Our Hotel was not new and flashy, but clean and an easy walk to the Metro in Arlington.

The first day we spent the morning at Arlington National Cemetery. What a beautiful serene place and the cherry blossoms were still in bloom. I captured some great pictures! Also saw the changing of the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown and they played TAPS for a someone just being buried that day and that is all it takes to bring tears to my eyes!

From there we walked over to the Iwo Jima memorial. Something to see, it's HUGE!

After lunch at Union Station we walked over to the Capital and hung out there for a bit before heading down the National Mall towards the Smithsonian Castle and then onward to the White House where we hung out by the wrought iron fence and took pictures of the protestors and police!

Everyday was an adventure and we traveled miles on the metro, ate lunch the second day at the famous Ben's Chili Bowl and had dinner one night at the Cheesecake Factory!

We had a great time and the last day traveled to Mt. Vernon where we got caught in a down pour at Washington's tomb and then thunder and lightening as we ran as fast as we could back up towards the mansion!

It was a great trip and so glad we went!!!!

I had Monday off which was good as we didn't get home until 5:30 am! The drive home took us 13 1/2 hours due to traffic out of NYC because of the Pope's visit which also created LOTS of people in DC during our week there! One morning we stumbled upon five bus loads of Bishops leaving their hotel! Quite a site...

Now the weekend is here and I'm ready to kick back and relax as this beautiful weather surely won't last!!!

Tomorrow is Hannah's birthday party and Dev will be gone most of the weekend to help take care of her nephews for the weekend, she's nice like that...

Otherwise, it's been a hell of a week and I am SO glad today is my last day of work for a while! It's been a tiring and frustrating few days and mainly due to the people I work with. They really know how to stress one out, but every night I ask GOD for calm and his grace to get me through...

And it helps...

So, here's to a crappy weather weekend, but time with my family before heading to the big capital of our nation!!!